I had an event occur when I was a child that I will always hold close to my heart. It happened when I was nine and was crucial to my spiritual development. I remember I woke up in the middle of the night to the purest white light I have ever encountered, and since that happened, all light has paled in comparison. As I opened my eyes, I witnessed a beautiful angel standing at the foot of my bed.

The being presented itself in a feminine way and was statuesque. She was beautiful but held a severe expression and wore a white gown that flowed to the floor. Her wings were large and full of pure white feathers, and her presence felt commanding. I remember being terrified because of how otherworldly she was, and I felt utterly overwhelmed by the sight of her.

I instinctively grabbed my cat, who was sleeping with me and hid under the covers with him. When I summoned enough courage to uncover my face, she was gone. Her presence heralded difficult times ahead, and I saw her a few months before my father was viciously attacked in Vancouver, an event that permanently changed him mentally and physically.

Although I knew she was holy and emanated divine power. I never understood her stern and severe expression and had often questioned why she didn’t appear warmly to me. I often thought about it and worried about the implications of her face and what that said about me. Her stoicism lingered with me, and I often reflected on it until I could reconnect with her in 2019 when I began taking a course on spirituality, which changed my life in so many immeasurable ways. In hindsight, it was the gift of reconnection.

I remember I had a vision that was so clarifying and healing. I saw this exact figure I had seen as a child, but now she came to me so much softer. I saw myself on the property of my childhood home where I had initially encountered her, and she was under one of my favourite trees in the woods behind my house. She hugged me by a pond I visited frequently as a child and told me telepathically, “Do not be afraid…  you are on the right track… just trust.”

She was with Archangel Gabriel, and the interaction profoundly shifted my thoughts and feelings around the encounter I had experienced as a child. I remember I was so confused when I heard the words, “Do not be afraid.” It wasn’t until a few months later that I learned that specific phrase is commonly recounted when people describe their experiences with angels—when Archangel Gabriel is involved. Still, I kept that phrase to myself initially because I didn’t understand what it all meant.

Messages come through more profoundly and often circle back again since the beginning of my spiritual journey, which was a reconnection to a divine source. Those words, “Do not be afraid,” resonate stronger today and much more strongly than in 2019.

I have always been a loner and, often, just plain lonely, and I only recently realized how significantly detached I am and how I live in my thoughts most of the time. And since my thoughts were often safer than reality growing up, this resulted in a life lived and dreamed rather than experienced in the physical world.

So, from my perspective, the words “Do not be afraid” were never about fearing the angels themselves but about releasing my fear around my engagement with life. Life is meant to be experienced and fully lived, and I didn’t realize until that day how significantly cut off I had been from everything. Afraid to allow, afraid to share, afraid to think of how many unlimited possibilities there are. I wondered how often I had stayed small out of fear that things could go wrong and, more aptly, how often had I been terrified that something might go right.

Close to a year after having this meditation and seeing my angel again. I had moved into a new apartment. A few days before I vacated the premises, my mother was cooking and left a burner on high. She returned to her bedroom and forgot about it before the pot caught on fire. The cupboard doors were blackened entirely, and there was thick smoke everywhere.

I just assumed there was a lot of damage from the smoke alone from her description of the flames, but surprisingly, there wasn’t, and as I was packing boxes and going through my belongings, I found a journal that I had written in as a child, and this is what I wrote all those years ago.

“October 16, 1996, Page 1

Last week, I awoke to be startled by an angel. She had short hair, and she had wings and big brown eyes. She looked troubled and serious.”

I didn’t remember writing it, but it was an immensely appreciated message from Spirit on such a chaotic and stressful day. It was something tangible and solid that I could hold and look at as a reminder of the divine nature of the universe and the synchronicities that are so dear to me.