In 2018, one of the Catholic Churches in the city had the relic of Saint Frances of Assisi on display. I’ve never considered myself a religious person but having known a little bit about the life of this particular saint and feeling drawn to his spiritual views, I felt compelled to go. I wasn’t raised catholic, and although relics were a foreign concept. I liked the idea of being near someone whose teachings aligned well with my thoughts on spirituality. I now realize that a relic isn’t necessary to bridge that gap, and I’ve felt closer to him by speaking his words than I ever did by standing inside a church.

I began reading his prayers most days over the past few years, and although I have altered some of the wording to shy away from Christian doctrine – the sentiment remains the same. To me, his words are something to strive for and aspire to—every day and depending on what moment I read these passages, different aspects of the same prayer feel more heavily weighted.

I had been struggling with my health, stress levels, and navigating my spiritual compass. I’m sure fear had been the common denominator with all these issues, and I continually work through it all; I just felt less secure about navigating major decisions at various moments in my life, but when I discovered this quotation from Saint Francis there was such a resonance in his words that I immediately felt better. His words, “Wear the world like a loose garment, which touches us in a few places and there lightly.” It has had a profound impact on my life.

Something about this phrase immediately creates a subtle shift within me and forms a loving buffer. Most things in life are either out of my control or ultimately unimportant, and I do not need to desperately latch on to and dwell upon everything that happens to me. I need to be in the world, but not of it, to live and move so that I’m not so emotionally attached to everything that happens, to effectively “wear the world” lightly and be at peace.

There’s a lot of wisdom to be gained from choosing what things impact our lives, and the easiest way for me to think about it is the opinions of others and what kind of attachments we form in life. The best way to move through this world is with ease, in the sense that we can always be bogged down by trivialities or dwell on the opinions of others, but ultimately, someone’s idea of me has absolutely nothing to do with me.

If I can look at myself in the mirror and love what I see staring back at me, I can find a way to manage the rest. Maybe not always physically, but on a soul level, I can be okay with who I am. There have been multiple instances in my life where I felt unworthy, incapable, and not good enough for careers or other opportunities, but then later witnessed others succeeding at that very thing with maybe less natural skill. Still, the fact that they were willing to show up and do the work meant that they were ten steps ahead of me.

It stems from childhood conditioning, in assuming that I would be made fun of or not respected enough, so I decided against pursuing certain things in favour of a safer, more reliable route. Still, it gets to a point when you start re-evaluating how things work out for people who choose the safe path.

Sometimes, the people who decide to stay in well-paying jobs with a pension aren’t all that happy, and if I were made to choose financial security over Peace of Mind, then I would choose Peace of Mind 100% of the time. I’m only here once for this specific incarnation. Because of that, I will continue to be weird, sometimes reckless, and utterly unconventional. I will always value how I feel about my choices over how others view my decisions.

We apologize for not fitting into the moulds that others created for us. Still, often, they’re outdated and need to be remodelled or broken altogether so we can improve this world and our present realities. Joy and freedom of expression are meant for all of us, not just those in positions of power dictating how society should be run. It’s very much Okay to be different and to break the rules sometimes, specifically when those rules impede on the rights of others or don’t follow our internal code of conduct.

Remember to focus on what sparks joy and creates ease within yourself. Trust that as your inner guide to lead the way, rather than what others tell you, is the right decision. Many horrible atrocities have been rationalized because the rules were just seen as part of the status quo and not to be questioned. Regardless of whether it’s a life decision or my personal belief, I will be guided by my inner compass because it’s easier to lose the respect of others than it is to regain my self-respect. Relationships often don’t last forever, but I must justify my choices to the person who stares back at me from the mirror, and to me, that is far more important than appeasing people who might not be kind on the inside.

The St. Francis Peace Prayer holds excellent resonance with me. It reminds me always to be mindful of how I conduct myself in every moment since I am the only person who gets to decide how I conduct myself. The reality is that none of us are perfect and should not aspire to be perfect, but I find it helpful not to feel burdened by the perceptions of others because I don’t want to leave this life full of regret over the choices I didn’t make because I felt too self-conscious to put myself out there. We will make mistakes, but those mistakes often lead us to where we’re meant to be and are just as important, if not more so, than the highs in life. It’s more about realizing what is important to you and letting go of the rest.